Monday, August 20, 2012

How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks

Title: How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire
Author: Kerrrelyn Sparks
Narrator: Suzanne Cypress
Series: Love At Stake #1
Publisher: Harper Audio
Length: 11hrs. & 35 mins.
Format: audiobook

Description from Goodreads:

Nobody said love was perfect...

Roman Draganesti is charming, handsome, rich...he's also a vampire. But this vampire just lost one of his fangs sinking his teeth into something he shouldn't have. Now he has one night to find a dentist before his natural healing abilities close the wound, leaving him a lop-sided eater for all eternity.

Things aren't going well for Shanna Whelan, either. After witnessing a gruesome murder, she's next on the mob's hit list. And her career as a dentist appears to be on a downward spiral, because she's afraid of blood. When Roman rescues her from an assassination attempt, she wonders if she's found the one man who can keep her alive. Though the attraction between them is immediate and hot, can Shanna conquer her fear of blood to fix Roman's fang? And if she does, what will prevent Roman from using his fangs on her?

My Thoughts:

I'm not really sure where to start with this book. Shanna is a dentist in the witness protection program on the run from some Russian bad guys. Roman is a vampire master who breaks a fang while testing out a faux human blood surrogate made from a sex doll. From that alone I thought this book was going to be hilarious with some sexy vamps thrown in for fun...not so much. How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire bounced back and forth from entertaining to emotionally brain damaged to coincidental absurdity.

The Good:

I loved the idea of a high tech vampire society who is just as consumerist as us normal human people. The BloodLite and Choco'lood (not sure if I spelled those right) had me laughing.  Then there were the Russian female vampires. They were the funniest thing about the book. They provided comic relief as well as some much needed vampitude. To go along on the awesome character list were the Highlanders. Connor in particular was my favorite character of the book. He was funny, sweet, endearing, and sexy. In other words, the perfect combination for a lead character. Too bad he wasn't one. This is an audiobook and I must say the reader, Suzanne Cypress, was good. I especially enjoyed the Russian and Scottish accents:)

The Bad:

When reading a book the most important thing is to connect and enjoy the main characters. It was really tough for me do that with Shanna and Roman. Shanna was all over the place in this book. One moment she was depressed and helpless/then she was kick-ass, she liked Roman/she hated Roman, being a vampire was OK/the relationship would never work, and just all around whiny. You are living with a hot and sexy vampire who is loaded, smart, and has an army of equally hot and sexy Highlanders to take care of you ...quit complaining. Then there was Roman. He was noble, smart, and pretty, but other than that kind of boring. It was hard for me to buy into the whole amazing vampire master when he can't fight and certain sexual aspects about him are revealed. Even though a character is "supernatural" they should be relatable, these weren't.

The Ugly:

For a book to work a certain amount of coincidence must be accepted. In How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire the author asks readers to do a whole lot of accepting. I don't want to give too much away in case you decided to read the book, but I will say that asking me to believe that the only 24hr dentist around is in the witness protection program, hiding from the Russian mob who has hired a Russian vampire assassin who just happens to by your arch nemesis, you show up at the same time as him to get her to fix your tooth you broke while biting a sex toy....well, you get the picture. That is just the tip of the coincidental iceberg and for me it sunk the story. Will I continue this series? If Connor has his own story...maybe. I give this book a 2 1/2 STAR rating.

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